I had been on Paxil for the past seven years to treat my social anxiety disorder. I had tried numerous times throughout the past two years to quit cold turkey from my 20/mg a day dosage but did not have success. With the encouragement of a very good friend of mine I started to taper my dosage. I decided to cut my daily intake from 20 mg to 10 mg. A few days after I made the 10 mg decrease, I began to experience a wide array of symptoms; most noticeably, the “electric shock” sensations that so many other users have reported. In addition, I developed flu-like symptoms for about a week after I quit.

I stayed on 10 mg for another two weeks and then decided to cut my dosage to 5 mg a day. This decision was made because my body had habituated to the decrease and the withdrawal symptoms had subsided completely. When I made the decrease from 10 mg to 5 mg the side effects were not as noticeable. I did not develop any “flu-like” symptoms and there was the absence of the “electric shock” phenomena. Once again, I stayed on this 5 mg a day regimen for about three weeks.

I was very excited about the progress that I had made, but I was also very hesitant and worried about discontinuing Paxil altogether. I had read all of the horror stories on the net about the hells associated with serotonin withdrawal syndrome and how getting off of Paxil is far more difficult than quitting any of the other SSRI’s (read Prozac, Zoloft, etc.) because of the drugs half-life. I had also heard that quitting Paxil altogether was synonymous to an alcoholic ceasing to drink (cold-turkey).

With that knowledge in hand, I decided to stop taking Paxil altogether. Within three days, my body was craving the drug. On day three I started the horrible withdrawal as described by many on this web-site. I began experiencing nightmares that seemed incredibly real, I suffered a terrible headache throughout the course of the day that would not let up no matter how much aspirin I took, the muscles in my back severely ached, I was extremely irritable, my sense of equilibrium and balance was impaired, I had intense insomnia as it was difficult to get to sleep at night and I felt an exhaustion which I would compare to infectious mononucleosis. In addition, a few times in a day for no apparent reason I would begin to panic for 30 seconds or so and then I would be fine. All of the aforementioned symptoms grew in intensity from day 3 of my discontinuance and peaked at approximately day 18.

I have now been Paxil free for 28 days. The majority of my withdrawal symptoms are behind me as the only ones that my body is now exhibiting are mild muscle aches (only in the morning), headaches, a slight feeling of fatigue and off and on nightmares. Conversely, I can honestly say that I now feel the best that I have in seven years.

It is strange, as I feel as if I now have more energy than I have ever had before. In addition, my mind is more alert and sharp than it ever has been and I feel as if everything is incredibly clear. It feels as if a heavy fog has been lifted from my life and the sun is finally shining through. When I listen to music, it sounds clearer and seems to flow better, and, it sounds better than it ever has before. I feel as if I am actually living now and I feel as if I can experience emotions again. I can feel and experience extreme elation or happiness. I actually feel more emotionally stable than I ever have and my sense of self-confidence has greatly increased!

In addition, I have noticed that my appetite has increased (luckily I am not gaining any weight, in fact I think I might be losing some weight), my vision seems to be clearer, I seem to be able to recall things more quickly and with more ease, and my encounters with other people now seem to be actual interactions instead of chores. Basically, I am happy, full of energy and vitality, and I feel full of life. A good quote to describe how I am feeling is “my cup runneth over”.

I now feel emotionally strong and I feel as if I am ready to take-on and handle the world. I experience a sense of peace and fulfillment that I haven’t felt in a very long time. I seem much more interested in the things that I used to love and I feel as if I am now actually living.

In conclusion, it should be known that I do not despise the makers of Paxil. Paxil helped to give me some of the tools that I needed to get over my social anxiety disorder. In the same breadth, I find it very unfair that SKB manufactured the drug without disclosing to the public that people do experience withdrawal symptoms upon discontinuance. Would I recommend this drug to any of my family or friends suffering from depression or anxiety disorders? Certainly not!

Lastly, an excellent tool that helped me when I was experiencing withdrawal symptoms was to just tell myself that each day that I was off of Paxil was another day closer to being “Paxil-Free”. I also convinced myself that I did not need drugs to help me cope with day-to-day life. Getting off of Paxil has been one of the most difficult things that I have ever experienced in my 23 year old life thus far, but, the feeling of being able to conquer such a feat only gives me that much more confidence. Thus, if you are reading this and experiencing withdrawal symptoms, don’t give up, hang in there, it is tough, but trust me, in the end, you will thank yourself that you are “Paxil-Free”.

To anyone who made read this. I am now on day 20 without paxil. I decided to quit after being on this medication for 6 years. In 1996 I had a terrible epidsode of panic attacks which quickly spiraled into panic disorder. I was placed on Paxil 20mg and it helped me immensely. But what was meant only to be a short term crutch to help me get through a crisis became problematic in ways I could never have imagined. Many of you know the drill. I was afraid to go off the drug simply because it had helped me so well. And I thought why not stay with it? But after a few relapses of panic attacks over several years I realized that this so-called miracle drug wasn't really helping me overcome my illness, it was masking it and not successfully really, but it was treating symptoms and not a cause. Depression, anxiety, panic, etc. are all very complicated illnesses and are probably caused by a combination of things in our lives. So it seems unlikely that altering one thing --which is very probably a symptom itself and not a cause-could really work long term. At least, that's how I see it.

I was lucky to have been introduced to a very very competent cognitive-behavioral therapist a few years ago, and in the past year I also have discovered that yoga (at least a form of Hatha called Iyengar yoga) helped me learn to trust my body again. With hard work, progress and relapse, including a couple of failed attempts to quit paxil, I was ready to quit again. Not because I was afraid of the medication but because I didn't need it any more. But of course there was another hurdle because of the withdrawal symptoms, and believe me, I have had most of the symptoms if not all of them. I had awful nausea every day all day long, headaches, lucid nightmares, pain, fatigue, depersonalization, panic attacks, depression. I also had the "less frequently reported" symptoms of heart palpitations, "trails" (or what they also call "delayed vision"), numbness/tingling in my face and extremities, LA LA LA. Oh and that "scratching" noise too. That has been extremely annoying as it sounds much like someone rubbing a balloon inside my head. Or a duck quacking or something. ANYHOW, it has been awful but it has subsided and every day is better.

Please tell yourself to be brave and that you are okay and you can get through it. And if you can, listen to Frank's audio message as I found it very comforting! Good luck to you all and don't judge yourselves. Your symptoms are real and it is understandable that you are angry and afraid but you can do it.